Scroll down to find out all about my adoption storybook “The Family Fairies” –Purchase a copy here
About Me
My name is Rosemary Lucas and I’m the very proud mother of two wonderful adopted children. They are not birth siblings and were adopted separately, but they are brother and sister in every possible way.
The word ‘Mummy’ was something I never thought I’d hear. After a long and winding road full of twists and turns no one could have foretold, my dreams finally came true through the wonder of adoption. I am a firm advocate of adoption and want to be a voice for the reality of what it’s really like – the good bits and the challenges. There are lots of both. I am respectful of birth families and believe in sharing a child’s history with them. Keeping alive whatever has made them who they are. From the very beginning.
I’m keen to share what I’d like to have known before I started our adoption journey, as well as some of the considerations and practicalities we experienced during the adoption process itself. You might be considering adoption, have just started the process, or are lucky enough to already have your own adoptive family. You may be reading this as a friend or colleague might be embarking on their adoption journeys. Or, you may just be reading it out of interest. Whichever it is, I hope you find my website useful.
The content is just my own thoughts and feelings. I’m not a professional in adoption. I’m not affiliated to any organisations or benefiting from mentioning any. I’m just a mum who happened to have her children through adoption and who thinks it might be quite nice to share our story to support others. Check out my Blogs to see how it all began for us and the journey we took.
The Family Fairies
I always wanted to be open and honest about how we came to be a family, but never quite found a children’s storybook that helped to explain the adoption process itself – so I decided to write my own! It was published in January 2019 and “Rosemary Lucas Storytime” was created to open up my support channels for fellow adoptive families.
When my daughter was young, I started making up rhymes to help explain the maze that is adoption. I wanted to do it in a way that would engage her and help lay the foundations of our family make up. So, I created the phrase ‘Family Fairies’ when referring to social workers and foster carers. As the years went by, I developed the story in my mind until I had the confidence to put it down on paper.
It made perfect sense to call my debut book ‘The Family Fairies’. It talks about the how, not the why, in a magical rhyming story. It gently references key stages of the adoption process in a positive and child friendly way, helped with the use of bright, vibrant illustrations. In fact, all the pictures you’ll see throughout the website are taken directly from the book. Overall, it emphasises how wonderful it is when a forever family comes together in this way – and how normal it is.
It was very important to me that social workers and foster carers were recognised for the tireless work they do in bringing families together. Finding safe, secure and loving forever homes for children that need it the most. A fellow adoptive mum once said to me “without them there is no us”. I’ve always held this very close to my heart.
I hope you can use my book with your little ones to show them the special journey you took to make your own dreams come true.
Face to Face Contact with Birth Mother
When we applied to adopt, it never occurred to me we might have a face to face relationship with our children’s birth mothers. During assessments, only limited discussions around this took place. We were always open to letterbox contact. Welcomed this. But when it came to direct contact, this wasn’t something that sat comfortably withContinue reading “Face to Face Contact with Birth Mother”
Adopting with a Birth Child
Add title When we adopted for the second time, we carefully worked through the best way to introduce the concept that a new baby would be arriving. Luckily, our eldest already had the foundations of what this meant. They knew the word adoption, and in an age appropriate way, understood what it meant. Although IContinue reading “Adopting with a Birth Child”
Social Media and Me
I have a “love-hate” relationship with social media. I was very late to the party, only joining when I turned 40! I thought it was going to be fantastic. Keeping up to date with people when time and distance get in the way. Finding people that I’d lost touch with. Reconnecting. Connecting. Often it isContinue reading “Social Media and Me”
Coming Home
“Coming Home Day”. What an incredible moment for everybody involved. But you do need a seriously big supply of tissues. We were desperate to have our little one home; however, we were mindful this could be the last time we were all together. At least for a very long time. It is not always possible,Continue reading “Coming Home”
Introductions
So, all the boxes had been ticked. The day had finally come to meet. Quite frankly, I was a total mess. In a whirl of mixed emotions. Not sure if I was coming or going. I had that peculiar butterfly feeling in my stomach – like I was about to sit an exam. Introductions beginContinue reading “Introductions”
Meeting the Foster Carer
A meeting with the foster carer was arranged. I hadn’t positioned in my mind how significant this would be. We sat there staring at the women who had cared for our little one as if they were her own. Knowing that they would never be. Knowing that one day they’d care for them no more.Continue reading “Meeting the Foster Carer”
Christmas as an adoptive mum
Christmas with adopted children – is it any different? Christmas is literally just around the corner. The countdown nearly over. Advent calendar doors nearly all opened. It really is the most wonderful time of the year. Truly magical. But is it any different for adoptive families? Surely, it’s the same. Christmas is all about theContinue reading “Christmas as an adoptive mum”
A Mothers Love
Below are the words of a fellow adoptive mum. My “adoption buddy”. I count myself very lucky to have her in my life. She is strong and passionate. Patient and inspiring. My role model. The love she has for her children is unwavering. I often say to her that I couldn’t survive without her…and it’sContinue reading “A Mothers Love”
The Match
And then, only about two weeks after approval confirmation, it happened – the call. A possible link. A potential match. A child to make me a mum. My husband a dad. And yep I totally freaked out! You see, we had been thrown a huge curve ball. We’d actually been approved for siblings. From the outsetContinue reading “The Match”
Time to Prepare
Once we had the official approval, we got on with the real preparations. Collating pictures of ourselves and our immediate family for memory and transition books and aids. There are some fantastic resources out there. Toys, teddies and books that can record your voice messages. We did a video for our second child. I walkedContinue reading “Time to Prepare”
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