Scroll down to find out all about my adoption storybook “The Family Fairies” –Purchase a copy here
My name is Rosemary Lucas and I’m the very proud mother of two wonderful adopted children. They are not birth siblings and were adopted separately, but they are brother and sister in every possible way.
The word ‘mummy’ was something I never thought I’d hear. After a long and winding road full of twists and turns no one could have foretold, my dreams finally came true through the wonder of adoption. I am a firm advocate of adoption and want to be a voice for the reality of what it’s really like – the good bits and the challenges. There are lots of both. I am respectful of birth families and believe in sharing a child’s history with them. Keeping alive whatever has made them who they are. From the very beginning.
I’m keen to share what I’d like to have known before I started our adoption journey, as well as some of the considerations and practicalities we experienced during the adoption process itself. You might be considering adoption, have just started the process, or are lucky enough to already have your own adoptive family. You may be reading this as a friend or colleague might be embarking on their adoption journeys. Or, you may just be reading it out of interest. Whichever it is, I hope you find my website useful.
The content is just my own thoughts and feelings. I’m not a professional in adoption. I’m not affiliated to any organisations or benefiting from mentioning any. I’m just a mum who happened to have her children through adoption and who thinks it might be quite nice to share our story to support others. Check out my Blogs to see how it all began for us and the journey we took. I’m also very proud to be trusted to share the stories of fellow adopters and adoption professionals too. You can find a range of insights in my Guest Blogs.
The Family Fairies
I always wanted to be open and honest about how we came to be a family, but never quite found a children’s storybook that helped to explain the adoption process itself – so I decided to write my own! It was published in January 2019 and “Rosemary Lucas Storytime” was created to open up my support channels for fellow adoptive families.
When my daughter was young, I started making up rhymes to help explain the maze that is adoption. I wanted to do it in a way that would engage her and help lay the foundations of our family make up. So, I created the phrase ‘Family Fairies’ when referring to social workers and foster carers. As the years went by, I developed the story in my mind until I had the confidence to put it down on paper.
It made perfect sense to call my debut book ‘The Family Fairies’. It talks about the how, not the why, in a magical rhyming story. It gently references key stages of the adoption process in a positive and child friendly way, helped with the use of bright, vibrant illustrations. In fact, all the pictures you’ll see throughout the website are taken directly from the book. Overall, it emphasises how wonderful it is when a forever family comes together in this way – and how normal it is.
It was very important to me that social workers and foster carers were recognised for the tireless work they do in bringing families together. Finding safe, secure and loving forever homes for children that need it the most. A fellow adoptive mum once said to me “without them there is no us”. I’ve always held this very close to my heart.
I hope you can use my book with your little ones to show them the special journey you took to make your own dreams come true.
We always thought we would adopt siblings. Together, from the beginning. After a lengthy and turbulent journey, I thought I wouldn’t be able to face doing it again. That I wouldn’t be able to find the strength. Again. In essence, I guess I thought it would be better to get it “over and done with”Continue reading “Double Love – adopting siblings”
Adoption is complex. Situations rarely straightforward. One thing that struck me throughout our adoption journey was just how much was outside of our control. Often our future lay firmly in the hands of people we’d never met. Decisions made from words in lengthy reports. Strangers at panel who could make or break our dreams. AnotherContinue reading “Adopting Birth Siblings”
One of the big questions you face when adopting is when to tell people. It’s really hard. You may have waited years for this moment. Been on a rocky road to becoming parents. So want to shout from the roof tops that it’s finally going to happen. But there are many hoops to go through.Continue reading “Sharing Adoption News”
It’s tricky for me to find the right words when talking about our foster carers. To express my gratitude. Someone once said to me “without them there’s no us” – I guess this pretty much sums it up. They looked after and loved our children until we were able to take over. Until the starsContinue reading “Fostering – more than just a job”
The moment has finally arrived. The moment you feel you’ve waited your whole life for. Despite all the training and support, you somehow feel totally unprepared. It’s time to meet your child. Perhaps more than one. Your son. Your daughter. It’s time for introductions to start. This stage is planned with precision. The child’s welfareContinue reading “Time To Meet At Last”
When we applied to adopt, it never occurred to me we might have a face to face relationship with our children’s birth mothers. During assessments, only limited discussions around this took place. We were always open to letterbox contact. Welcomed this. But when it came to direct contact, this wasn’t something that sat comfortably withContinue reading “Face to Face Contact with Birth Mother”
Add title When we adopted for the second time, we carefully worked through the best way to introduce the concept that a new baby would be arriving. Luckily, our eldest already had the foundations of what this meant. They knew the word adoption, and in an age appropriate way, understood what it meant. Although IContinue reading “Adopting with a Birth Child”
I have a “love-hate” relationship with social media. I was very late to the party, only joining when I turned 40! I thought it was going to be fantastic. Keeping up to date with people when time and distance get in the way. Finding people that I’d lost touch with. Reconnecting. Connecting. Often it isContinue reading “Social Media and Me”
“Coming Home Day”. What an incredible moment for everybody involved. But you do need a seriously big supply of tissues. We were desperate to have our little one home; however, we were mindful this could be the last time we were all together. At least for a very long time. It is not always possible,Continue reading “Coming Home”
So, all the boxes had been ticked. The day had finally come to meet. Quite frankly, I was a total mess. In a whirl of mixed emotions. Not sure if I was coming or going. I had that peculiar butterfly feeling in my stomach – like I was about to sit an exam. Introductions beginContinue reading “Introductions”
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